A popular concept that gets used a lot is Projection. Although to be fair, half the time it is used correctly: putting (projecting) one’s shit onto someone else. But that’s because projection is only one half of what was traditionally two dynamically related defense mechanisms. The other is Introjection, taking in (internalizing) someone else’s shit. While it sounds bad, nothing in psychology is so black and white. Projections and introjections can also be good. If one looks up to someone, they might project respect or take in, introject, the qualities they admire to be more like that person or evoke a sense of them. Either can be positive or negative depending on the context.
Thank you for reading this post, don't forget to subscribe!From an evolutionary perspective, projection helps individuals evaluate potential mates by projecting their own desirable traits onto others or protect themselves from potential threats by projecting their fears or anxieties onto others. The evolutionary benefit of Introjection is helping people internalize the beliefs, values, or attitudes of others.
However, there’s a good reason projection and introjection are more often shown through tinted lenses, especially in view of relationships. If someone treats another with suspicion, the other may begin to feel untrustworthy. But if a partner is continually suspicious, eventually, their partner will begin to doubt whether they’re a good or honest person. At some point, they may even begin to believe they’re a bad or dishonest person. Until over time, resenting this, they may do bad or dishonest things because their good goes unrecognized, and bad and dishonest is how they are seen.
Initially, projection and introjection can both play a role in fostering intimacy and closeness in romantic relationships. He projects this, she projects that, and they both internalize what each recognizes or esteems in the other. He sees her goodness, she sees his, and thus both feel they are in good company. Until one of them breaks character with their projection, shows misunderstanding, reveals unrealistic expectations, and pops what had otherwise been a mutually perfect bubble.
At this point, partners find themselves, metaphorically, in a lucid dream state, consciously trying to avoid waking and distinguishing less of the dream throughout the day. It felt, seemed so real, not like a dream, not something just made up in the head.
To offer an evolutionary perspective, self-deception may have evolved as a way for individuals to gain advantages in social and sexual contexts, such as by enhancing their perceived attractiveness or social status. The concept has been kicked around the field of evolutionary psychology for years and believed to be a form of defense mechanism whereby one deceives themselves in order to better deceive others to improve their chances of survival or reproduction.
Overall, the concept of self-deception is complex and multifaceted, involving a range of psychological and evolutionary factors, including several potential advantages that can improve an individual’s chances of survival or reproduction.
Enhancing social status: By projecting confidence and self-assurance, individuals may be able to gain social status and respect from others, which can improve their access to resources and mating opportunities.
Concealing weaknesses: By deceiving themselves and others about their vulnerabilities or limitations, individuals may be better able to avoid social exclusion or physical harm.
Facilitating mating: By projecting desirable traits or concealing undesirable traits, individuals may be able to enhance their attractiveness to potential mates and improve their chances of successful reproduction.
Coping with stress: By projecting positive emotions and minimizing negative emotions, individuals may be better able to cope with stress and adversity, which can improve their overall health and well-being.
Obviously, Projection and introjection both play a role in self-deception as they involve unconscious processes of externalizing or internalizing traits or emotions.
Obviously, Projection and introjection both play a role in self-deception, as they involve unconscious processes of externalizing or internalizing aspects of the self or others. For example, an individual may be engaging in self-deception by projecting their fears onto others, to avoid acknowledging their own feelings. Similarly, an individual who has introjected the expectations or beliefs of others may be deceiving themselves about their true desires or motivations. Projections can have other drawbacks or negative consequences, such as reinforcing harmful stereotypes or undermining authentic relationships.
After reading all this, it’s understandable to feel ambivalent or fear about the world, people, and relationships. But before internalizing all this, and then going out and projecting this onto the world, just know this: Humans have, more or less equally, evolved mechanisms to detect and counteract self-deception in social and romantic contexts. One such mechanism is the theory of mind, which allows individuals to infer the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of others. Humans have also developed emotional and physiological responses that are triggered when they observe or sense discrepancies between someone’s words, actions, or nonverbal cues. Additionally, introspection, perspective-taking, and metacognition allow someone to recognize when their beliefs or biases are clouding their judgment, and to adjust their thinking accordingly. These are all cognitive mechanisms that work together to help counteract deceptions by allowing individuals to reflect on their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, as well as imagine themselves in someone else’s situation.
Of course, the effectiveness of these detection and countermeasures may vary depending on the individual’s cognitive and emotional abilities, their past experiences and cultural norms, and the specific context of the relationship. In some cases, deception may be difficult to detect or may be reinforced by social or psychological factors. That’s why it’s important to approach relationships with a degree of skepticism and critical thinking, while also striving for open communication, trust, and mutual understanding.
Choosing a relationship partner is a complex process influenced by a variety of factors and preferences, including physical attraction, personality traits, shared interests, values, social status, and cultural norms. What can add complication is that others aren’t always aware of their preferences or the factors that influence their choice of partner, such as social pressure, personal insecurities, or past experiences of relationships. The risk in not being aware of these complexities is selecting a partner with an appealing projection, but a person who is not good for them because they wanted to believe that the relationship would be fulfilling and satisfying.
